Sure, there may be room for improvement in those around us. There may even be opportunities to help others grow. But first, we must take responsibility for how WE are thinking and behaving, instead of lamenting over the actions of others.

If I want a better marriage, I have to be a better husband first. If I want my relationship with my kids to get better, I have to be a better father first. If I want a better team or a better company, I have to be a better leader first.

As I type this, I am sitting in an airport after spending the last two days with an awesome group of people who make up the executive team of a national mortgage banking company. I have had the privilege of leading their last two executive retreats, and their team has seen wonderful growth and results.

Today, we went through an exercise that was really valuable for them. They have a long term goal to increase their company’s annual sales by more than 300%. Each of them took time to assess what would need to change in order to lead a company that was doing just 50% more than their current volume.

I asked them each to think about where they would personally need to grow the most. I had them assess their own knowledge, skills, disciplines, systems, team, relationships and thinking to identify where they would have the biggest points of risk or pain.

They spent a significant amount of time alone journaling their thoughts, and then shared their results with each other. Their teammates then spoke into them by affirming, questioning, challenging and adding to what they came up with. It was a time of great transparency and growth.

So what about you?

Do you have aggressive goals and plans for your business or for your life in the years ahead? If so, where do YOU need to grow and improve in order to accomplish what you have set before you?

Don’t sit back and wait for others to take the lead.

Me first!

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One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received was given to me about two decades ago by a friend named Todd Duncan. Todd introduced me to the concept of Life Planning. A few years later, I founded Building Champions, an executive and leadership coaching company. I took what I had learned from Todd and others, and created the Building Champions version of life planning.

Life planning is much more than goal setting. It requires you to dive deeper.

It means identifying each area of your life that is truly most important to you, casting a vision for your future, defining your purpose for each account and then identifying the activities that will enable you to have the highest probability of realizing your vision and living out your purpose. These activities enable you to accumulate real net worth.

I have seen this tool change lives.

For the last 14 years, my team and I have coached thousands of leaders through this process. The resulting plan almost always leads to improved decision making.

When you take the time to put a plan together for your life, it is much easier to make the right decisions each and every day. When you make better daily decisions, it leads to better weeks, months, and years. The right decisions in life lead to a better life.

With a Life Plan in place, you have the ability to truly manage your priorities because you are crystal clear on what they are and on how you want to invest in them.

Be one of the few with a plan. The Proverbs say “the plans of a man’s heart are deep waters; but a man of understanding draws them out.”

Be a man or woman of understanding and dive deep,

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Wonderful, that is, once I arrived.

I will spare you the brunt of my travel woes, but my day involved cancelled planes, standby, and an arrival just 3 hours after the event started. Slightly stressed (or just a bit more than slightly), I made it to the site with just 15 minutes to spare before I was to speak on Coaching Leadership.

It was at this event that I learned about the term “reboundability”. After my presentation, I was talking to a few of our clients and I shared about my day’s mishaps. This is when our friend and client Melanie Nygren shared this idea of reboundabilty.

She said that the ability to rebound after a challenge or mishap is what makes people who they are. Those who have the ability to rebound quickly and completely are the people who enjoy the most success in life. And those who get stuck and cannot move forward have more challenges.

I think Melanie is right. Our ability to rebound after we encounter all that life can throw at us will determine how we live in the days ahead.

So here is to moving forward and through the challenges ahead. To our Reboundability!

Thank you for the insight and great word Melanie,

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Worst Case Thinking is a process that can aid those of you who find yourselves unable to take healthy risks. This simple thinking model can help you to overcome the negative emotions that are birthed in illogical fear.

Over the years, this type of fear has come up countless times in coaching sessions. I’ve seen Worst Case Thinking help many in their lives and careers to risk more, experience more, impact more and grow more. Here is how it works.

The next time you find yourself not wanting to speak up in a group, or enter into a conversation with your spouse or teenage daughter, ask yourself this question: If I do this, what is the worst case scenario?

Challenge yourself to answer the question as logically as you can. Then test your answer. Could that really happen? Is it likely? And if that does happen, what does it mean for you? What will you learn or experience as a result of taking that risk?

What I have found is that you may need to ask the question multiple times to get to the real worst case. Then once you are there, you can logically assess the probability of that outcome happening. Most of the time, you will realize that the likelihood of that worst case outcome is pretty minuscule.

Now, ask yourself one final question: If the worst case does in fact happen, can you deal with it? If you honestly can’t, then don’t take the risk. If you can, and the risk appears to be wise and worth taking, you are now armed with more courage because you know you are prepared for any outcome.

Practicing Worst Case Thinking increases your discernment and your courage, and I have found it to be very helpful in all aspects of business and life.

Try it. What’s the worst that can happen?

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Last week, I had a day that tested my EQ.  Actually, it began the night before.

I had planned to get to bed early, so I could get plenty of sleep before waking at 4am to catch a 6am flight with my boys.  We were on our way to Jackson Hole, Wyoming to join some of our great friends and teammates for four days of snow fun.

My wife and I got to bed early as planned, and then our phones started to ring at about 10:30pm.  Two hours later, we were on our way to see a family member who needed some urgent council.  It’s a blessing for us to be able to help, but my plan for a restful night was now shot.  By the time I got back to bed, I got maybe an hour of sleep before the alarm went off.

I was in a bit of a fog when our car arrived to take us to the airport.  I travel often enough that I figured I had timed the pick-up just right, but we hit a little fog on the drive in, and our driver actually obeyed the speed limit.  Once we arrived at the airport, we headed over to check in our bags.  We were traveling with our snowboards and lots of gear, so we had to reshuffle our bags to meet the weight requirements.

I was so totally sleep deprived that I hadn’t even looked at my watch.

The gal checking our bags asked when we were scheduled to depart.  When I told her, she freaked out, and yelled at me to check in immediately so we would make the 45 minute cut-off.  The boys kept working on the bags while I hurried to the kiosk.  You guessed it:  by the time I entered our information, we were one minute late.  Now the gate agent was frustrated, the bag weigh-in lady was frustrated, and as I watched my sons repacking our bags it dawned on me that all of my plans for the day were about to unravel.

My emotional state began to change.  If only the driver had driven just a bit faster than my great grandmother.….if only the bag weight police lady would have just let us proceed to the counter.….if the airline was not so cold and heartless as to tell me the computer system could not be overridden.

Blame, blame, blame.….and anger.

About that time, the lessons I’ve learned and taught about EQ kicked in.  I realized that the real “IF” was that if I had just paid more attention to the time, we would have made our flight and I would have been snowboarding in knee deep powder instead of sitting on a much later flight.   As soon as I was able to gain perspective and take responsibility for my misfortune, I was able to treat the ticket agent with respect and kindness instead of immature anger.

I find it fascinating how our minds and emotions can cause us to feel that a so-called crisis — no matter how big or small — is the end of the world.  If you find yourself feeling like this, breathe deep, pray if you are inclined, take a step back and change your thinking from pointing blame to finding solutions.  Once you understand the worst case scenario and create a few solutions, you will be in a much better position to treat those around you as they should be treated, and your stress level will drop immeasurably.

The bottom line is that very rarely are your circumstances as bad as they feel.  I know that by improving my EQ, the quality of my life and those around me improves as well.

There are a few resources that have helped me to better understand Emotional Intelligence.  Lindon Crow, President of Productive Learning and Leisure, has taught me a great deal.  Also, Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence:  Why it Can Matter More than IQ is one of the definitive works on the subject.

Here’s to improved perspective,

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Over the years, I spent time with his leadership team and the thousand plus others that he led.  Frequently they would comment on how they loved working with him because, while they may not always like what he had to say, they always knew where they stood.

This leader had all sorts of sayings that went perfectly with his personality.  One of my favorites was “ I am leaning in on this one.”  This meant that he was diving head first into the problem.  He knew that business and life are filled with problems and challenges, which are just waiting to be solved and learned from.

He helped me to see that candor combined with compassion is fuel for a healthy culture.  He is not a leader that ignores the challenges with a hope that over time they will go away.  Instead, he leans in, knowing that he must have the courage to press toward a solution.

This week I am nearly finished with a book by Dr. Henry Cloud called Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality.  In this must-read book, Dr. Cloud talks about leaning in.  He says that great leaders with high levels of integrity don’t ignore the elephant in the room.  They have the courage to lean into the problems that most people shy away from.

Leadership takes courage.  Our teammates, our customers, our spouses, our children and our communities are looking for people with the character and the courage to be the leaders many fear to be.

Take a look in the mirror.  Have you been willing to lean in and work to find the better solution?  Or have you been sitting back hoping that the issue will go away or someone else will take care of the problem?

Lean In!

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Today I want to clear up some confusion we commonly see in the minds of our clients.  This confusion is around the difference between a goal and a discipline. 

To put it simply, a goal is the end result you’re aiming for.  A discipline is the behavior or task you must repeat, over and over, to achieve the result you want.  A goal is an idea that motivates you.  A discipline is an action that moves you forward.

At Building Champions, we coach our clients to gain clarity on which disciplines they must establish in order for them to have the highest probability of reaching their goals.  If the client is to succeed, these disciplines must be non-negotiable.   We like to focus on the behaviors that define how we live and lead. 

These non-negotiable disciplines are truly where the magic lies in self development.  Goals and resolutions are important, but by themselves they have no power to change your situation.  Identifying the disciplines you will repeat constantly is the critical next step.  Here are a few examples.

Goal:  Increase monthly sales volume by 10%

Non–Negotiable Disciplines:

1. Observe 4 sales calls per week with a sales rep – coach them on improvements
2. Team Sales Meetings every Monday at 8am
3. Review and provide feedback on weekly sales call plans and reports
4. Quarterly Business Plan Reviews with each team member

Goal:  Lose 25 Pounds in 2010

Non-Negotiable Disciplines:

1. 30 minutes on the treadmill M-W-F at noon
2. 15 Push Ups and 25 Sit Ups every morning
3. 8 glasses of water daily — no sodas
4. Fruit and veggies instead of breads.  No muffins for breakfast or breads at lunch.

I have seen people truly flourish when they gain clarity on how they want to live and lead, and then identify the corresponding disciplines.  These individuals develop strong convictions around their disciplines, and they become non-negotiable.  Their disciplines become a way of life.

Make your disciplines non-negotiable,

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