The depth and quality of our relationships directly impacts the overall quality of our lives. And we all know that deep, high-quality relationships take time.

As an executive coach here at Building Champions, I know that most leaders find the battle for time to be their single greatest challenge. It is truly a game of trade-offs. I have often said that we must be able to say no to the good in order to say yes to the great.

Here is my action plan for you today:

1. Take a good look at your Life Plan, and compare it to the last 90 days of your life.
2. Assess how you are doing with the investing of time into the relationships in your life that matter most. If you are on track and building relational net worth, fantastic.
3. If not, make a plan today to do one thing in the week ahead to invest in a key relationship.

You will probably need to say no to something else to make room for that relationship, and chances are, it will be to something important. But ask yourself, “Will it be as important on the long run as building that relationship?”

Relationships take time, and I say invest in them!

Waking up running is the norm for many in these crazed times. This daily routine can leave many a leader feeling overwhelmed and tired. It can cause us to live our days craving an escape.

We go about our schedule with mechanical precision, without really being present for days, weeks, or even months. We’re just waiting for the day we can board a plane to the tropics. Then, once the wheels are up and the Mai Tai is in hand, relaxation will finally set in.

It does not need to be this way.

I have a routine that I strive to sustain just about every weekday. I call it my morning vacation. It is my time alone in the early hours, before the rest of my family is awake. It usually lasts anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes and includes some time spent reading the Bible, praying, reflecting, stretching, or meditating. Many mornings, I do my reflection in the hot tub as the sun is rising.

When I follow through with my morning vacation, I find that it impacts how I go through the rest of my day. I am more present, calm, and aware. It equips me for the challenges and opportunities the next 24 hours will hold.

A day that begins well has a higher probability of finishing well.

I think it is a mistake to wake up in chase mode. Morning vacations can radically impact how you lead, serve, and love those in your office and your home. I know many leaders who have similar routines, and they swear by them.

Take a vacation. You deserve it.

The event kicked off last night, with about 3600 of their team members in attendance. It was a powerful opening, with music by Israel Houghton and a great message by Bill Hybels. Bill is the Sr. Pastor of Willow Creek Church in Chicago, and he founded the Leadership Summit which impacts thousands of leaders every year from around the world.

What struck me last night was the theme. I’m not sure whether Israel and Bill had synched up prior to that night, but their message was clear.

Each of us can be used to forever impact the life of one person.

Bill’s message was much broader, but this one point really hit home for me. Israel sang many songs, but the song that really resonated with me was entitled “The Power of One.”

By selflessly investing in one person who has a real need, we can change the trajectory of their life. That person can be a family member, a team member, a customer, a neighbor, or a stranger. They might have a physical need, a financial need, a relational need, or a spiritual need.

We have the ability to stop the busyness of our lives and to come alongside them for their good. So many times we are just too busy to see the need. But if we slow down and look around, we will see opportunities to be true difference makers. We can give of ourselves for the benefit of others.

Now, I know many of you are already doing this, and doing it in abundance. You are making a difference, and lives are already being changed. Keep it up.

As for the rest of us, my question is “Who?”

Who in your life today needs what you have to give? Do they need the phone call, the lunch, the note, the check, the hug, the listening ear? Look for them. They are all around you.

What we have been teaching our kids is true: it really is better to give than to receive. You may be just one person, but you have within you the ability to share something that could forever change someone’s life.

The Power of One,

After an hour and a half, he left, and one of my sons came by.  He is 17, and is finishing up his senior year with some classes at our local community college.  The purpose of our one on one time was to connect and take a look at his plan for the next quarter.  It was an opportunity for me to listen to him and to connect at a deeper level.  I was able to pour into him.

The reason I wanted to share with you about my morning is to challenge you to think about how you will spend your time this year. 

Are you proactively scheduling one on one time with those you care for most?

One on one time is the absolute best way for people to connect, to experience intimacy, to build trust, to share life, to love and support one another, to challenge each other, to affirm each other and to show those around us how much they mean to us.  With our busy schedules, this can be quite challenging, but it is worth it.  I have learned — by observing those who are further down the path than I am — that those who do this tend to have the deepest and the best relationships.

Many of you are already busily filling in the vacant slots on your calendar for this month or even the entire year, and this is one discipline that will pay huge dividends.   These one on one times (or dates, as we call them in our home) should be scheduled first before other things get in the way.

Look at your Life Plan, and make sure your key accounts include the discipline of one on one time with those who are the most important in your life — your spouse, your kids, your close friends, your extended family members.  Then make room in your calendar, and invite them to meet with you.  Make this a non-negotiable discipline so that it becomes a way of life for you.

I know many of you already do this, and do even more to make the time rich and meaningful.  I could learn from you!  Others may want to make this a priority, but don’t know where to begin.  It starts with one date.

I hope this helps you and those you care for,

So, here is my response:  I want to experience pure and complete presence during this Christmas and New Years’ break.

What I want most is to celebrate this very special season by being absolutely present in each and every conversation, and in each and every moment.  I am a total mental spaz so this can be very challenging.

I know some of you can relate with me on this.  My mind is always going so fast and is filled with so many thoughts and ideas, and shutting it down to just be present can be difficult for me.  At the same time, when I am totally in the moment, it feels so good!

No matter what your plans are for the remaining days of this year, my challenge to you and to myself is to give the present of being fully present.  This means truly listening, totally engaging and adding value to those we love and those we lead.  This is an eye to eye and ear to ear challenge.

I hope this helps you to make some special memories.  I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Until 2010,