During the real performance, you will witness the results of what most will never see — the countless hours of training, reviewing game or play tapes, the disciplined working of the body and self-disciplined eating and sleeping.

And then, look at some of our countries best: our service men and women. Look at the countless hours they invest in training, preparing, rehearsing, and engaging in mock battles. They plan for and rehearse unlike any others.

We had the benefit of having a Navy Seal trainer join us for one of our Building Champions Master’s Coach events a few months back. I was blown away as I listened to how intense their training and practice is. But of course it needs to be so intense; they are dealing with life and death situations every day when they are deployed.

My question to you is this: How much time do you invest weekly into practicing, rehearsing and learning?

For most of us, our results are greatly impacted by each of the little 15 to 60-minute conversations that we have with our teammates, our clients, our vendors and our prospects. Are you like most who run from one meeting to the next with very little intentional planning and rehearsing time? Are you meeting with key clients and prospects without having mastered the basics? Are you attending board meetings without having fully prepared for the questions that will come your way?

I know what most of you are thinking: “How do I fit in more time to practice, to prepare, to rehearse? I am already maxed as it is.”

Here’s a suggestion: Work hard to identify the things that are making their way on to your daily calendar that others could do — often with more excellence than you can. Understand the top 3 or so things that only you can do in order to add the most value to your company. And then, fight with all of your might to get rid of the other 10 things that dilute your focus and diminish your performance.

Be intentional about the time you free up, and practice, practice, practice until you know you are ready to compete at a championship level.

Is it life and death for you, your company, or even your family?

Maybe.

Our family has spent the past week at a remote surf spot in mainland Mexico. Traveling with just the 6 of us is not the norm, as we usually end up bringing other family or friends. But this vacation had to be different.

The purpose of this vacation is to give us a time of deeper connection as a family before we release Dylan to the land down under. He will be heading for a wonderful adventure that will include some schooling, surfing, alone time, community service, and outreach in a third world country after his time in Australia. It should be a powerful experience for him.

Sheri and I were fortunate to have been mentored over the years by older friends, authors, and expert teachers on the topic of parenting. One of the key things that we heard when our kids were young is that we needed to begin the process of releasing them from the moment they were placed in our arms.

We release our kids bit by bit. As they mature from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, we give them more rope. As they prove themselves responsible, we add a bit more rope until eventually, we let go altogether. They will still make mistakes, and it may be tempting to grab hold of them again, but we must trust that they are responsible for making decisions for themselves.

Our job as parents is to love them, nurture them, teach them, and equip them…so that we can release them. When they are ready, we send them into the world prepared to apply their gifts and to impact those they come across in their journey.

Even though I have known this since the beginning, the release has been challenging. Exciting and challenging.

My reason for sharing this with you could be partly therapeutic for me, but my hope is that it encourages those of you who are parents, especially with younger kids. Set your target for your kids, help them to identify their passions and gifts, fan the flame, pour into them and prepare them. While you’re at it, prepare yourself too.

The release will come sooner than you think!

As part of the process of getting this designation, I have spent time being observed while coaching Master Certified Coaches from the International Coaching Federation. These are people whom I have never met or even talked to prior to the sessions. These have been pretty challenging, and I must confess that I completely botched last week’s session.

The conversation went something like this…

Coachee: “I need to improve my work life balance.”

Daniel: “So, what do you think could be causing some of the challenges you are having with managing your calendar? What I am looking for are some specific examples of causes that you might be experiencing.” (Without giving the poor gal an opportunity to respond, I stacked another question on her.) “What are the top three things that come to mind when thinking of your time management challenges?”

Coachee had to be thinking: “Shut up man and take a breath! You must think I am an idiot, and that your questions are so incredibly profound! And you clearly love the sound of your own voice!”

Of course, that is far from what I thought or intended.

The Master Coach who was observing me laid it out pretty plainly: I was stacking questions.

What this means is that I would ask a question, and before giving my coachee an opportunity to answer, I would ask it another way to make absolute sure that she understood it. The truth of the matter was that I was unsure of where I was going in the coaching session, and I was lacking confidence in my interaction.

So, why do I share such dirt on myself?

I observed this in myself while it was happening. I have also observed it in others when they are presenting to a group, conducting performance reviews, or leading meetings and conference calls.

This often happens when we are unprepared for engagement, and are feeling nervous as a result of our lack of preparation. In the face of so much questioning, the very people we are trying to connect with will often shut down or become defensive — which is the opposite reaction we are hoping to draw out.

Here is the action plan for me and hopefully for anyone else out there who may stack once in a while: know your stuff inside and out! And then, be comfortable allowing the other party in the conversation to have the quiet space to respond or to ask a clarifying question.

Does this help any of you? What I mean is, do any of you find this to be beneficial? Will it help you as a manager or coaching leader?

Let’s stop stacking,

Presentation Tips From Daniel Harkavy from Building Champions on Vimeo.