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I am never sure who benefits more in my coaching relationships: the client, or me. I have been so fortunate to have coached some of the most amazing people. I am continually growing and learning from them as I coach them. I love what I get to do!

Something that my client said this morning really struck me. He told me that all he has ever wanted as a leader was to be known as a guy who did what he said he would do. As a matter of fact, he said this became really clear for him as he wrote his epitaph when creating his first Life Plan with me a few years back.

He is moving closer to leaving the corporate world to pursue more of his personal interests. He plans to draw from his many successful years as a leader to mentor, advise, and coach up-and-coming leaders. He did not say he wanted to be known as the most strategic leader, the best team builder, or the most internationally savvy leader.

What he said was most important was that he was known for being a man of character, having a good name.

A few months back, I had the good fortune of attending the 90th birthday party for Chick-Fil-A founder, Truett Cathy. When he took the stage and addressed all of us who have been positively impacted by him over the years, he said what matter most to him was that he was a leader of character. He shared that he has one verse from the Hebrew Scriptures that he has used as a guide post for his life. It is Proverbs 22:1, and it reads as follows: “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”

These are two amazing leaders with completely different world views, running two very different and yet similar companies — similar in that they both have fantastic culture and tenure with their colleagues. And these leaders both have the same life anchor — they live to be leaders with a good name.

The lesson? Self leadership always precedes team leadership. And truly amazing leadership stems from men and women who have a deep conviction to be known as people with a good name.

How is your name?

When this happens, we are faced with a critical moment. The opportunity for our influence to rise or fall.

Just this week, I called a friend who had failed me. I hoped it was just an oversight and not an intentional mistake. The critical moment took place when I confronted him with my grievance.

Within that very moment, his response caused his influence in my life to increase.

He listened, took full ownership of the mistake, and asked for forgiveness.  He followed up by asking, “What can I do to make this right?” No defending, no denying, no justifying. He just took responsibility and made it right. He is a true man of character, and his influence in my life continues to grow.

At some point in the future, you will get called out. Or better yet, you will realize you have failed someone on your own. In that critical moment, do all you can to preserve your character and reputation instead of trying to justify or protect yourself.

You will be amazed by what takes place.

As the Hebrew scriptures say, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.”

Over the years, I spent time with his leadership team and the thousand plus others that he led.  Frequently they would comment on how they loved working with him because, while they may not always like what he had to say, they always knew where they stood.

This leader had all sorts of sayings that went perfectly with his personality.  One of my favorites was “ I am leaning in on this one.”  This meant that he was diving head first into the problem.  He knew that business and life are filled with problems and challenges, which are just waiting to be solved and learned from.

He helped me to see that candor combined with compassion is fuel for a healthy culture.  He is not a leader that ignores the challenges with a hope that over time they will go away.  Instead, he leans in, knowing that he must have the courage to press toward a solution.

This week I am nearly finished with a book by Dr. Henry Cloud called Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality.  In this must-read book, Dr. Cloud talks about leaning in.  He says that great leaders with high levels of integrity don’t ignore the elephant in the room.  They have the courage to lean into the problems that most people shy away from.

Leadership takes courage.  Our teammates, our customers, our spouses, our children and our communities are looking for people with the character and the courage to be the leaders many fear to be.

Take a look in the mirror.  Have you been willing to lean in and work to find the better solution?  Or have you been sitting back hoping that the issue will go away or someone else will take care of the problem?

Lean In!