When this happens, we are faced with a critical moment. The opportunity for our influence to rise or fall.

Just this week, I called a friend who had failed me. I hoped it was just an oversight and not an intentional mistake. The critical moment took place when I confronted him with my grievance.

Within that very moment, his response caused his influence in my life to increase.

He listened, took full ownership of the mistake, and asked for forgiveness.  He followed up by asking, “What can I do to make this right?” No defending, no denying, no justifying. He just took responsibility and made it right. He is a true man of character, and his influence in my life continues to grow.

At some point in the future, you will get called out. Or better yet, you will realize you have failed someone on your own. In that critical moment, do all you can to preserve your character and reputation instead of trying to justify or protect yourself.

You will be amazed by what takes place.

As the Hebrew scriptures say, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.”

This moment could be a beautiful learning and growing opportunity for you and the culprit….or it could lead to a battle of enormous proportions.  You, the victim, confront the offender. 

They respond like this: 

 “Sorry!” 

You can’t believe they could be so callused.   They just added another stick of dynamite to the stack.  Their lack of sincere repentance was the second missile shot to your heart.  Hurt, you strike back, and the battle is on.

Extreme?  Maybe.  But unfortunately this scenario is all too real and all too common.

Compare this response to “I am sorry, will you please forgive me?”  Now you are being asked by the offender to take action and accept their apology.  By making this request, they have given you the chance to release them.  And they have shown that your forgiveness and your feelings are important to them. 

The beauty of it is that, when you choose to forgive them, you will both feel better.  It has the effect of salve on your wound.  “I am sorry” is much more powerful when paired with “Will you forgive me.”

Put this phrase into practice whenever you are the one who falls short or causes the damage.  Say you are sorry, and then sincerely ask for forgiveness.  By making this a standard in your communication arsenal, you will enjoy more health in your relationships and less hurt and bitterness in your life.

Thank you to my bride Sheri for making this a reality in our home!