As an executive coach at Building Champions, I have seen countless breakthroughs with business leaders as the result of them working to improve how they think.
Here are 6 tips for you to improve your thinking.

1. Schedule your thinking time. At Building Champions, we call it ON time. Make sure you have ON time as a non-negotiable discipline in your business plan and your time block.
2. Have a thinking place. In John Maxwell’s book Thinking for a Change, he shares how his best thinking is done in his thinking chair. In fact, this is how John played a role in being our home decorator!
3. Watch less news and garbage. The media thrives by capturing our attention, and unfortunately what captures most of us these days is the negative. Limit yourself to no more than 10 minutes of the news per day and you will know what you need to know. And as far as TV goes, I am a fan of not watching it at all unless I’m watching a good movie from time to time.
4. Read the good stuff. What books will cause you to think and believe better? Read what will stretch your thinking, center you and equip you to live and lead better.
5. Ask those closest to you to call you out when they see you exhibiting bad thinking. This means you must trust a few in your life and on your team enough to be vulnerable with them and ask them for their input on your thinking and actions. This is good accountability.
6. Hire a good coach. I think that one of our greatest opportunities as coaches here at Building Champions is to challenge, encourage and to stretch the thinking of the business leaders who hire us. As I said above, a leader’s thinking directly impacts his leadership capacity.

To improved thinking in the year ahead!

Note: This post is part of a series on Increas­ing Your Lead­er­ship Capac­ity.
Step 1: Own Your Role
Step 2: Be Healthy

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I find I can push through the feeling by looking at the situation and answering logical questions that help me to see that my fear is irrational. When both of my feet are planted firmly on the sidewalk, I usually don’t fall over for no reason, right? So there is no reason to think I will topple over when I’m standing on a balcony 300 feet above that sidewalk.

Fear can keep us from doing many of the things in our life and business that we know we need to do or would truly enjoy. Where are you being held back by fear and limiting beliefs?

It could be you are not leading as confidently as you could. Perhaps you aren’t calling on high-end prospects, launching that new product or service, speaking more transparently with your spouse, or engaging in conversations with your teen.

If you are holding back, then you need to push through.

Ask yourself logical questions to determine if your fears are rational. Practice “Worst Case Thinking.”  Monitor your physical response to make sure you aren’t sabotaging your own efforts with low Emotional Intelligence.

This year I had the opportunity to go zip lining in South Africa with my family. I also did a ropes course in Canada with one of my sons. Both experiences were mentally challenging for me, but I was glad I didn’t let the fear hold me back.

Little victories like these can fuel confidence and improved results in other areas of your life and career.

What fears do you allow yourself to be victim of? Where are you holding back? Where do you need to push through in the year ahead?

We all walk through life hearing about what we should do to improve. Still, most of us struggle with changing our behavior.

Over the years, I have coached thousands of people in one-on-one or group sessions. Most of these coaching conversations revolved around the topic of improvement — quality of life, business results, health, relationships, team performance. People typically hire a coach because they believe they will have a better chance of making the necessary changes with a coach on their team.

And of course, I agree!

The problem is that almost all of these improved results require improved behaviors, and behavior is not easily changed. If we want to change our behavior, we must change our thinking. And to change our thinking, we must be able to clearly define “why.”

Our “why” must be worth shaking up our comfortable behaviors. If it is not, we will go through life knowing we should improve in certain areas, but we won’t until it is too late.

So, how do you find your “why?”

Change can be negatively or positively motivated. For example:

Positive: I will exercise 5 days per week so that I am able to connect with my kids by playing with them and doing things they like to do.

Negative: I will exercise 5 days per week in order to reduce the odds of my health failing and being a burden to those I care for.

I believe that we are most likely to sustain healthy habit changes if we can connect our “why” to something positive.

Additionally, it is best when we can connect our “why” to those we care about most, or to a cause that is bigger than ourselves. We all want to make a difference with our lives. As a result, we want our actions and gifts to contribute to the people and causes we are passionate about.

Is there a habit you want to improve, a gap you want to close, or even a talent you want to further leverage? Take some time and figure out “why.” It will be well worth the time invested.

Why not?

Now, I know that much has been written on the subject of health by those who are far more educated in this arena. But I thought I would share my experiences as a guy who has taken a different approach.

The problem with the “start and stop” rhythm is that this approach is never a good strategy for battle, and that is exactly what maintaining peak health is: a battle.

We can’t win this battle if we focus on it for a few weeks by eating packaged, low-fat, processed foods in pre-subscribed quantities and working out for 20 minutes three times a week….and then toss it all to the wind when our weight goal has been reached or we become frustrated.

Unless we change our thinking, we will not break out of this “start and stop” behavior.

Like my friend, we will look for the next greatest diet. It could be no carbs, just grapefruit, all meat, no meat, fist size, etc….

For any of you who have benefited from these types of diets, I am not saying they are bad. What I am saying is that our thinking must change first if we are going to see our health improve over the long haul.

So, here is a suggestion on how to go from dieting to maintaining good health as a way of life:

Change your “Why.” You may want to get to a certain weight or size, but that is usually not enough to keep you going. You need a more significant “Why.” Perhaps you would love to be able to keep up with your kids when you play together, or you want to add more pain-free years to your life. Maybe you are motivated by what you don’t want, like spending so much time in doctor’s offices, or being the one who holds your family back on vacations, or becoming a burden to those you love.

When it comes down to taking action and making better daily choices, these kinds of reasons are more likely to tug at your heart than the dream of a single-digit dress size.

Identify your Non Negotiable Disciplines. This is critical. My suggestion is that you start with disciplines you can nail at least 80% of the time. Examples of this could be to replace your soda intake with water, or to snack on veggies, fruit and nuts twice a day so you are not as hungry at lunch and dinner. Once you start to build momentum incrementally, you’ll find the bigger changes come more easily.

Find an Exercise Buddy. Who do you know that will commit to walking with you four mornings a week? Who will go for a jog with you every other day at lunch? Who can you hire to teach you how to properly lift weights and stretch? If you can afford to meet with a trainer regularly, it could be one of the greatest investments you make in your life. But whether you hire a trained professional or recruit a friend, you’ll find you have greater success when you’re accountable to another person.

Now, remember my friend who has tried every diet under the sun? His challenge isn’t to start the next great diet or quick fix exercise program to maximize the short bursts of time when he’s focused on his health. It is overcoming the daily drive-through habit and the lack of exercise when the diet stops.

He could be the world’s greatest dieter, but it won’t produce real change without a shift in thinking.

The battle is won when health becomes a lifestyle, not a task to be accomplished.

This is a rich topic, and I welcome your comments and questions!

Taking the Long View from Building Champions on Vimeo.

Sure, there may be room for improvement in those around us. There may even be opportunities to help others grow. But first, we must take responsibility for how WE are thinking and behaving, instead of lamenting over the actions of others.

If I want a better marriage, I have to be a better husband first. If I want my relationship with my kids to get better, I have to be a better father first. If I want a better team or a better company, I have to be a better leader first.

As I type this, I am sitting in an airport after spending the last two days with an awesome group of people who make up the executive team of a national mortgage banking company. I have had the privilege of leading their last two executive retreats, and their team has seen wonderful growth and results.

Today, we went through an exercise that was really valuable for them. They have a long term goal to increase their company’s annual sales by more than 300%. Each of them took time to assess what would need to change in order to lead a company that was doing just 50% more than their current volume.

I asked them each to think about where they would personally need to grow the most. I had them assess their own knowledge, skills, disciplines, systems, team, relationships and thinking to identify where they would have the biggest points of risk or pain.

They spent a significant amount of time alone journaling their thoughts, and then shared their results with each other. Their teammates then spoke into them by affirming, questioning, challenging and adding to what they came up with. It was a time of great transparency and growth.

So what about you?

Do you have aggressive goals and plans for your business or for your life in the years ahead? If so, where do YOU need to grow and improve in order to accomplish what you have set before you?

Don’t sit back and wait for others to take the lead.

Me first!

In The Five Dysfunctions, Patrick says that many teams struggle with the fear of conflict. They do not understand that conflict in the pursuit of truth and improvement is a good thing. They believe it to be mean and bad, instead of loving and beneficial. This struggle exists not only in the workplace, but also in marriages and other close relationships.

If people are not equipped to engage in healthy conflict, then they either fight in unhealthy ways or they hold back their feelings and impede the growth of those around them.

Conflict is a friend when entered into from a position of care and concern, with the desire to see improvement. When a team is equipped with the ability to engage in healthy conflict, they can make better decisions and get even better results.

So what do you believe about conflict?

If you are one who loves conflict and seeks it out for the wrong reasons, counseling can help. Conflict is an enemy when it is entered into with the intent of always winning. This “must win at all costs” mindset can hinder your ability to find truth and improvement, and can make you pretty miserable to be around.

If you are one who avoids conflict at all costs, then I urge you to reconsider. There is a balance, and it has to do with pursuing the best outcomes, even if that means your perspective is not the right perspective. You can enter into conflict more comfortably when you are coming from a position of truly caring for the hearts of those you are going to engage with, and being passionate about finding the best outcomes.

If this comes easily for you, then you can help others around you by modeling healthy conflict. If this something you find challenging, you can start by openly establishing the rules of engagement with your team and those around you. Keep away from personal attacks, and push for healthy conflict in the pursuit of truth and what’s right.

You will see improved thinking, smarter decision making, more buy-in, and healthier relationships.

Here’s to improved debate,

Wonderful, that is, once I arrived.

I will spare you the brunt of my travel woes, but my day involved cancelled planes, standby, and an arrival just 3 hours after the event started. Slightly stressed (or just a bit more than slightly), I made it to the site with just 15 minutes to spare before I was to speak on Coaching Leadership.

It was at this event that I learned about the term “reboundability”. After my presentation, I was talking to a few of our clients and I shared about my day’s mishaps. This is when our friend and client Melanie Nygren shared this idea of reboundabilty.

She said that the ability to rebound after a challenge or mishap is what makes people who they are. Those who have the ability to rebound quickly and completely are the people who enjoy the most success in life. And those who get stuck and cannot move forward have more challenges.

I think Melanie is right. Our ability to rebound after we encounter all that life can throw at us will determine how we live in the days ahead.

So here is to moving forward and through the challenges ahead. To our Reboundability!

Thank you for the insight and great word Melanie,

Last week, I had a day that tested my EQ.  Actually, it began the night before.

I had planned to get to bed early, so I could get plenty of sleep before waking at 4am to catch a 6am flight with my boys.  We were on our way to Jackson Hole, Wyoming to join some of our great friends and teammates for four days of snow fun.

My wife and I got to bed early as planned, and then our phones started to ring at about 10:30pm.  Two hours later, we were on our way to see a family member who needed some urgent council.  It’s a blessing for us to be able to help, but my plan for a restful night was now shot.  By the time I got back to bed, I got maybe an hour of sleep before the alarm went off.

I was in a bit of a fog when our car arrived to take us to the airport.  I travel often enough that I figured I had timed the pick-up just right, but we hit a little fog on the drive in, and our driver actually obeyed the speed limit.  Once we arrived at the airport, we headed over to check in our bags.  We were traveling with our snowboards and lots of gear, so we had to reshuffle our bags to meet the weight requirements.

I was so totally sleep deprived that I hadn’t even looked at my watch.

The gal checking our bags asked when we were scheduled to depart.  When I told her, she freaked out, and yelled at me to check in immediately so we would make the 45 minute cut-off.  The boys kept working on the bags while I hurried to the kiosk.  You guessed it:  by the time I entered our information, we were one minute late.  Now the gate agent was frustrated, the bag weigh-in lady was frustrated, and as I watched my sons repacking our bags it dawned on me that all of my plans for the day were about to unravel.

My emotional state began to change.  If only the driver had driven just a bit faster than my great grandmother.….if only the bag weight police lady would have just let us proceed to the counter.….if the airline was not so cold and heartless as to tell me the computer system could not be overridden.

Blame, blame, blame.….and anger.

About that time, the lessons I’ve learned and taught about EQ kicked in.  I realized that the real “IF” was that if I had just paid more attention to the time, we would have made our flight and I would have been snowboarding in knee deep powder instead of sitting on a much later flight.   As soon as I was able to gain perspective and take responsibility for my misfortune, I was able to treat the ticket agent with respect and kindness instead of immature anger.

I find it fascinating how our minds and emotions can cause us to feel that a so-called crisis — no matter how big or small — is the end of the world.  If you find yourself feeling like this, breathe deep, pray if you are inclined, take a step back and change your thinking from pointing blame to finding solutions.  Once you understand the worst case scenario and create a few solutions, you will be in a much better position to treat those around you as they should be treated, and your stress level will drop immeasurably.

The bottom line is that very rarely are your circumstances as bad as they feel.  I know that by improving my EQ, the quality of my life and those around me improves as well.

There are a few resources that have helped me to better understand Emotional Intelligence.  Lindon Crow, President of Productive Learning and Leisure, has taught me a great deal.  Also, Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence:  Why it Can Matter More than IQ is one of the definitive works on the subject.

Here’s to improved perspective,