Are You Spending Enough Time?
That was the question Greg Salciccioli asked me last night, just moments after we witnessed the marriage of his oldest son Nate.
One year ago, we also had the privilege of attending their younger son’s wedding. Greg and Dianna have two sons, and now in the last year they have gained two daughters. As Greg asked me the question, he was looking at my four kids who were standing behind us, engrossed in a conversation of their own.
My off-the-cuff response was, “Yeah, I think so.” I have been working hard and playing hard with them, and I think we are getting plenty of time together. But when I woke up this morning, I was still pondering Greg’s question. Am I spending enough time with my kids?
I must admit, I don’t actually know the answer. How much time is enough? Enough time for me to feel like a good father? Enough time so they know beyond the shadow of a doubt how much I love them? Enough time to impart what they need to learn from me to have the best chance of succeeding in life?
Greg asked me this question at a milestone in his life as a father. This was the last of his kids’ weddings. Now both sons have their brides, and Greg and his bride are truly empty nesters.
In that moment, Greg said to me, “It just goes by so fast.” He encouraged me to remember that at moments like this, it is not about what you accomplish at work; it is the quality of your relationships that matter most.
As I reflect on these words in the early morning light, I hear my four kids starting to stir. We have some mountain biking to do today. Thanks to Greg’s question, I also have some assessing to do. My challenge today is to be fully present during our hours together.
Are you spending enough time?
I think Greg’s question can be applied to any relationship in your life. Take a moment to ask yourself that question, and if your answer is “not enough,” don’t wait! Give them a call, set up a date, go home and play, or enjoy of cup of tea with this person — face to face, eye to eye, with no interruptions, today.
Thanks to Greg and Dianna for allowing us to share in this beautiful occasion. And Greg, thanks for caring enough to ask such an important question.
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Tags: Family, Life Planning, Relationships, Time
I was fortunate to be a stay-at-home mom with our seven children until the youngest two were young teenagers. While our finances suffered a huge hit because I wasn’t working, my time with the kids was worth every penny we lost. Now five of our children and their spouses are parents or soon-to-be parents, and I can look at them knowing that we did set a good example of loving our children. Do hold on to the precious moments you have because children do grow up fast.
Well done Patricia! Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.
I’m not spending enough time with my kids. They prefer to be with their friends. So now, we sort of stand by, grateful for the time we do spend together. I’m sad because they have more fun without me. Happy because they are independent and spreading their wings.
Greg Gutierrez
Zen and the Art of Surfing
I appreciate your transparency Greg. It is great to see them spread thier wings for sure. I say keep playing with them how they play and they will still want time with you. And I know that you my friend still now how to play like a kid! Keep pursuing them brother.
Lets surf soon!
Daniel
“be fully present during our hours together.” — What a tremendous target and challenge… As I embark on a new chapter that requires some significant upfront travel and regular travel moving forward, this is so important…
Indeed John. I think the challenge for all of us IPhone or Blackberry carrying people is to set boundaries for when we leave them turned off. I know this helps with staying in the moment during meal times and dates. And on the travel season, one of our coaches shared a tip with us last week. He schedules extra time with his family the day before he leaves on a trip and the day after his return to make sure he connects before getting back to his normal routine.
Take care John,
Daniel
Thanks for you.
Actually, our kids will be proud of us more when we can balance between the work and home.
They’ll evaluate you without caring whoever you are in the work (Employee, manager, CEO. ..etc)
Take care as some moments can’t come back again.