Me First!
Too many people believe they would have a better relationship or a better workplace if only they had better spouses, kids, friends, and teammates. If only other people were more thoughtful or listened more or performed better!
Sure, there may be room for improvement in those around us. There may even be opportunities to help others grow. But first, we must take responsibility for how WE are thinking and behaving, instead of lamenting over the actions of others.
If I want a better marriage, I have to be a better husband first. If I want my relationship with my kids to get better, I have to be a better father first. If I want a better team or a better company, I have to be a better leader first.
As I type this, I am sitting in an airport after spending the last two days with an awesome group of people who make up the executive team of a national mortgage banking company. I have had the privilege of leading their last two executive retreats, and their team has seen wonderful growth and results.
Today, we went through an exercise that was really valuable for them. They have a long term goal to increase their company’s annual sales by more than 300%. Each of them took time to assess what would need to change in order to lead a company that was doing just 50% more than their current volume.
I asked them each to think about where they would personally need to grow the most. I had them assess their own knowledge, skills, disciplines, systems, team, relationships and thinking to identify where they would have the biggest points of risk or pain.
They spent a significant amount of time alone journaling their thoughts, and then shared their results with each other. Their teammates then spoke into them by affirming, questioning, challenging and adding to what they came up with. It was a time of great transparency and growth.
So what about you?
Do you have aggressive goals and plans for your business or for your life in the years ahead? If so, where do YOU need to grow and improve in order to accomplish what you have set before you?
Don’t sit back and wait for others to take the lead.
Me first!
Related posts:
- 8 Steps to Increase Your Leadership Capacity (Series)
- They Must Leave Better Than They Arrived
- Be Hungry and Humble (Increasing Your Leadership Capacity Series — Step 4 of 8)
- How Little I Know
- Leadership and Personhood
Tags: Behavior, Leadership, Reflection, Self Development
This is a powerful post, Daniel. Change begins with me! Too often people think it has to begin “out there” or “up there.” This is a great reminder that it begins “right here”—with me!
Thank you Mike! I must remember this each and every day. I look forward to our call tomorrow.
Daniel
I have to agree, it all starts with the man in the mirror!
Well said Doug. Thanks for your comment.
As a writer, I am constantly evaluating how I present the message I have to share and planning on how I am going to “market” that same message. Here’s a paradox–My message is not at all about me, but I’m the one who controls what happens with it. So, like you said, I can’t sit back and wait for someone to wave a wand and make things happen. I do know I am going to have to be aggressive, and I am working on that. My message deserves my best! Thanks for sharing!
It is my pleasure Patricia. But dont you just wish you knew who had that wand? I do!
Cheers,
Daniel
Not really, Daniel! Part of the “fun” of pursuing publication is not knowing what the future holds. I’m going to give my message (in book form) my best shot. Then, whether it’s successful or not (no guarantees at all), I will know I did my part.
I wish you well!
Thanks for a great reminder Coach.
You are very welcome Dan. I know you live this message.
Daniel
Inspiring Daniel. I DO have large goals, and I am generally the one that has to get out of the way first. I often find myself thinking of others who need a book, or should hear a message, but the fact of the matter is that I must calibrate myself first to my learnings. Thanks for sharing.
John
You are in good company John. I think it is much easier for most of us to see how those around us need to grow instead of how we need to grow.
Thanks for your comments John,
Daniel
Daniel, what an important post! You are so right. In fact, one of the most powerful things that I can do is to simply manage myself (and my own growth) well. I always come away with something good when I read your blog.
Thank you Jim. I am pleased to read that my posts are adding value!
Have a super weekend,
Daniel
[…] While looking for the faults in others, we fail to see our own. We blame our situation on people or circumstances, and we overlook our own culpability. We need to look at ourselves first. […]
Thanks for adding to this Tim!